Valentine's Day lesson for my heart

Another Valentine's Day has come and gone...

This year's heart day was full of many firsts: Eva made her first Valentine's Day box with her Maw Maw, Colt experienced his first Valentine's Day party at day care (they said he went nuts over the cookies!), and it was the first time I let the kids have chocolate for breakfast...totally random idea.

The day ended great...but it did not start that way.

I woke up feeling like a failure. I got out of bed on February 14th and immediately started attacking myself with reasons why I am a terrible wife and mother.
-I did not buy the kids cute outfits with hearts on them with their names neatly embroidered on the front.
- I never found the time to create the perfect magical assortment of gifts.
- I totally forgot to do valentines cards for Colt's class
- All of the cute Pinterest ideas that I envisioned creating for Eva's teachers remained just that...ideas. They got nothing.
- Chad left for work before I could give him his card....why didn't I put it in his car like I had planned?

What is wrong with me ....I don't deserve this family! I was a bundle of raw emotion...

I got dressed and quickly made a home-made card for Eva and Colt. I laid out the only gift I managed to get them on the breakfast table...one gigantic Hershey bar. I woke up my babies, told them I loved them, and reluctantly escorted them to the kitchen to see their Valentine's day surprise.

I was still abusing myself mentally for the lack of funds and planning for this "magical" day.

I was waiting for Eva to react with disappointment...

This is what I got...

PURE EXCITEMENT AND JOY!

 

ALWAYS HAPPY!

 

I was bombarded with kisses and hugs from these 2 angels. They were thrilled and I was moved to tears right in the middle of my kitchen floor.

 

 

I saw all of the wonderful things about God's love, grace, and mercy in their little eyes.

 

I realized that I had let the devil control my thoughts through my raw emotions. Satan uses every opportunity to tell me that I am not good enough. He uses my insecurities as a working mother to convince me that I have got it all wrong and that I will never measure up.

 

Their sweet, smiling faces told me that it is ALL A LIE!

 

Sweet friends, Satan wants nothing more that to tear us apart and convince us of lies that keep us from being all that God wants us to be.

 

No one will remember what outfit they wore...or what their valentine card was like. It simply doesn't matter. What Eva will remember is that mommy came to her Valentine's day party, let her eat chocolate for breakfast, and that she was loved!

 

 

But God wasn't done with me yet on that day...He had another Valentine's gift for me...I had Him working overtime!

 

My prayer for my children is that they will love God most. This is what I found in Eva's classroom!

Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers! You are always faithful!

He hears us! He loves the sound of each of our voices.

 

I know that I am a mess without Him. I don't want my children to go one day without feeling His presence and living in His love!

 

Are you believing Satan's lies that you are not good enough? Don't get stuck in that place...

 

He has so much more to give if we love Him most ... life is so sweet for those who trust in Jesus!

 





 

Eva at her preK party

 

 

My big boy looking handsome for the ladies!

 

 

 





Eva's Verse

          "The Joy of the Lord is my strength!" Nehemiah 8:10

This is the first verse that Eva and I memorized together! On Monday mornings we get a new verse and try to commit it to memory by the end of the week. My sweet, heaven sent friend, Jill, provides the verse in her blog www.shinegirlsshine.com!

What was meant to be a fun, simple exercise for my daughter has turned out to be a life changing exercise for me! I have ALWAYS heard that God speaks to us through His word. And many people have experienced this for themselves. However, I did not expect Him to teach me SO VERY much about my life through such a short, simple verse.

                                             OH BUT HE DID!

                                  "The Joy of the Lord is my strength"

It is no simple task to get a 5 year old to memorize something. We would wake up and repeat the verse...and go over it while she brushed her teeth. We would repeat it in the car in the mornings and again on the way home. I would find myself repeating it at work as well. It became apart of our everyday! I then found myself wondering what the verse meant.

                                   "The Joy of the Lord is my strength!"

Hmmmm.....it sounds nice ...but I don't really "get it".

Friday rolled around and Eva and I memorized our verse. We treated ourself to a piece of candy or two (or in Eva's case 3 or 4) and went on our way. Life went on and more verses came.

Then the week before Christmas, our Pastor called and asked me to share my testimony in church as part of his sermon. He said that Chad and I have been through a tough few years and he wanted me to share how God was getting us through. I told him that I would...hung up the phone...and started to think...

I took a few days to reflect on my life. I guess we have been through a lot in 24 months time:
- I lost my mom to cancer. She was my best friend and biggest fan!
- Chad has been fighting a "mystery illness" for almost a year...which we still don't understand. We have heard terms such as rocky mountain spotted fever, pneumonia, pulmonary lesions, lupus, and wegners granulomatosis. (google it!)
- Then a few short weeks after Chad got out of the hospital he lost his job. This was a job he was so excited about...a job that he worked hard for...a chance for financial freedom! It was a HUGE blow to his self-esteem and a blow to our finances.

So, I guess on paper all of that looks pretty rough.

but in reality... It has not been.

You see, the day my mother died is the day I surrendered myself to Jesus. I decided to give my ENTIRE SELF to Him because the way I was living before just was not working for me. He woke me up and called my name! It was time!

I decided to follow Jesus on April 7th, 2011.
It has been 1 year, 9 months, and 29 days

...and friends ...life has NEVER.BEEN.BETTER

Please understand that I did not say that life has been easier because clearly it has not been easy.

However, circumstances that should have shattered my world and thrown me into darkness and dispair did not and have not.

Instead I am OK, in fact, I am JOYFUL and STRONG and HAPPY!

Realizing this brings me back to that sweet, simple verse.

                               "The Joy of the Lord is my strength"

WOW! I understand! I get this verse now! This verse is my life.

So the next time a friend asks"how do you handle it all so well" or when someone says "I could never go through all of that!"  I will simply say: "The JOY of the Lord is my strength". This verse is my life and it can be yours too!

With JESUS there is NO better way to live.

I encourage each of you to surrender every aspect of your life to Jesus. Ask Him to show you how! And be on guard...because He most certainly will!

                                
       Our Elf on the Shelf brought Eva her first bible verse to memorize!

My Awakening

 

 

I FINALLY GOT MY BLOG!!!!!! I am SO excited! I have felt an urgency to begin a blog since the day my life was interrupted on April 7th, 2011. This was the day Jesus grabbed a hold of me and started running! On this day, I woke up from a deep sleep and started to live!  This was the day that He interrupted my "perfect" life....and I truly started to live!

 

Here is my story!

 

My mother was wonderful in every way. I could use every positive adjective to describe her. She was in love with my daddy until her very last breath and my brother, Chad, Eva and I were her world! However, as much as she loved us all, she loved God most. And God loved my mother!

 He brought her out of a difficult childhood situation and placed her into a Christian home. He gave her my daddy when she needed him most, a man who loves and fears the Lord!  I could go on and on but to say the least God has always taken care of her as only HE can do!

She lived her life for Him. She, along with my dad, taught me about God’s love, took us to church and prayed for us diligently!
The Lord called my mama home on April 7th, 2011after a battle with breast cancer.  It was His perfect timing. She was gone…And I was broken!

 

Although I had given my life to the Lord at 8 years of age, it never dawned on me that I had not GIVEN my life to him until after my mom was gone.

 

Who did I run to when I had a bad day? Mama

Who did I call when I heard good news, bad news, or any news? Mama

Who would listen to every detail of every aspect of my life with open ears and an open heart? Mama

Who else would care about my babies the way I did? Mama

Who prayed for me when I should have been praying myself? Mama

Who encouraged me to rely more on God? You guessed it…My mom!

 

The day she left was the first day of the rest of my life. Guys…this was not only because I had to learn to live life without her, but also because it was the first day I began to have TRUE dialog with my Jesus. For weeks straight I felt like nobody was around but me and God…..I would scream at him in anger in one moment and would be on my knees praising Him the next. 

I often say that that the day my mama died is the day I truly started to live. THIS IS SO TRUE!  I felt ALIVE for the VERY FIRST TIME because I started my relationship with God! And yall's…the sad thing is…I never realized that I didn’t have one!

 I have been spending all of my life in church and going through the motions! Did you know that He knew this about me? HE WAS JEALOUS FOR ME!

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

In this past year, amongst my pain and grief, I have come to realize the magnitude of His love for me. I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY! Every detail was perfectly designed by Him….not to harm me but to give me a hope and a future! Girls this is NO JOKE! He didn’t take my mother away to harm me..in fact I know it breaks His heart to see me grieve! Yall…I am not sure of His reasons or of His plan for calling her home but I can tell you that He loves me SO much! Just look at what He has done for me in 2 years time….

 

Please let me brag on my Lord for a moment!

Chad (my sweet husband) and I lost our baby in September 2010. We were devastated and I prayed for the Lord to help me to understand why this happened,

Did you know that my due date with the sweet baby would have been the same week my mama passed? I KNOW that the Lord spared me from having to juggle both events at the same time! OH HOW HE LOVES US!

 

 

Me and my honey!

 

 

And did you also know that at the EXACT moment I was getting the news that my baby did not have a heartbeat my sweet god-daughter was born…..

I MEAN WITHIN THE SAME 15 MINUTES! He gives and takes away! Oh HOW HE LOVES US!

 

Reese (my sweet God-Daughter)  

Isn’t she yummy?!?!?

 GUESS WHAT? I got pregnant again and was 14 weeks pregnant when the Lord called my mama home! This is also such a wonderful blessing. He gives and takes away. He gave my family something to look forward to in the midst of our grief. A reminder of how much He is in love with us. He sent us a BEAUTIFUL little boy with his daddy’s handsome grin and my Mother’s blue eyes! OH HOW HE LOVES US!

Robert Colt Davis September 28, 2011

 

Both of our babies!

 

For years my Mother prayed for my brother to meet that “special someone”! And she was very specific about this girl! She prayed for someone to come into his life who adored him, someone who he adored,  was very sweet, and who most of all LOVES the Lord. I was concerned that this girl did not exist! Lol! However, a few short months after mom’s death my brother met Taylor! She is everything and more that we have prayed for! OH HOW HE LOVES US!

 

Eric and Taylor!

Aren’t they sweet?!?!?

 

He loves us. Each of us. None more or less than the other! We aren’t promised that our time on Earth will be without trials. One of my worst nightmares came true, and yet it has been the best year of my life. Only God can do that!

 

I pray that each of you be able to evaluate your relationship with Jesus. Open up that dialog and build that relationship! Run to Him first, not your best friend, not your mother or husband. God wants our big, precious, breakable hearts. HE IS JEALOUS FOR US! He wants us first!

 There is still not one day that goes by that I don’t miss my mom!  I think of her ALL OF THE TIME! But I know that my mom is cloaked in white, praising her Lord, and I now have the blessed assurance that I will see her again! Oh how he loves us!

 

Lareen Peeples

I love you mom, to the moon and back!

My mom and dad!

September 2011

 

The NEW face of my family! Oh how He loves us!

Love in Christ,

Erin Davis